Wang Weiwei never imagined she would date a man six years younger, not to mention marry one.

"When a former colleague of mine married a younger man, I wondered how long their marriage would last," Wang said. "Now I know that a person's maturity doesn't necessarily correlate with age."

Four years ago, the 31-year-old Wang, who previously worked as a Japanese translator in a coastal city in northern China, came to Beijing and tried her luck in the music industry.

She met a 25-year-old man online with a similar interest in music, and they began to date. He quit his job in the Netherlands and came to work in the Chinese capital.

In committing to the relationship, Wang knew she would be judged by many, including friends and family.

When the time came to seek the blessing of her parents for the couple's marriage in 2020, Wang's father even took her aside and questioned whether her partner was "mature enough."

Dare to be different

When Chinese poet Yu Xiuhua announced her wedding plans with a much younger man on social media platforms early this month, some commenters wondered if her husband-to-be was after her fame and fortune. The 46-year-old responded by pointing out that the essence of a monogamous relationship is to satisfy each other's needs.

"No matter how it ends, I will be grateful for this wonderful experience," Yu said.

While men dating younger women is still the mainstream, recent data suggests more women are having relationships with younger men in many provinces.

Hangzhou, capital of east China's Zhejiang Province, began paying attention to registered couples' age differences in 2018. According to data from the city's civil affairs bureau, the rate for registrations of women married to younger men has risen from 17 percent to 19 percent in the past four years.

Social studies experts have credited the trend to the development of a pluralistic society.

"Our survey suggested that young people's views on marriage have changed," Professor Li Ting of the Population Development Studies Center at Renmin University of China, said in April.

Li said that college students cite emotional support and spiritual development as the most important values in a marriage.

Character, personality and potential are the top three qualities women look for in a partner, according to a survey on Chinese women's views on marriage and love by Yixinli, a psychological service platform, and other agencies in 2021.

As the economic conditions of Chinese women continue to improve, their partners' income has become less of a concern when it comes to dating.

In Wang's case, she was earning more than her husband when they married. Later they moved from Beijing to Chengdu in southwest China's Sichuan Province, close to her husband's hometown. The couple bought an apartment in April, and Wang backed the decision with all her savings, even though she failed to find a high-paying job in Chengdu. 

"I paid half of the down payment on this house, so all decisions on this house need to be approved by me," she said. "I know he loves me very much, but I refuse to rely on him completely. I think women need to be independent."

Men's attitudes toward older partners are changing too. A survey by the Chinese dating app Tantan in 2019 found that more than 90 percent of men born after 1995 would date someone older. Nearly 60 percent of them are open to a relationship with someone at least five years older.

"The most difficult relationship"

While age might be less of a problem for casual relationships, it still matters a lot when it comes to marriage.

Li Jie, 39, who married a man 10 years her junior three years ago, said she was reluctant for a long time before agreeing to marry her partner. Besides the age gap, she was worried about the response of her teenage daughter.

"The bigger the age difference, the harder it gets," confessed Cheng Xiaomo, who's married to a man five years younger. "It is the most difficult relationship among all heterosexual couples." 

Cheng, who lives in the city of Shenzhen, is a relationship counselor specializing in writing and answering questions about older women and younger men on Zhihu, a website.

After analyzing the comments below her articles, Cheng told CGTN that she concluded that the main concern for men was how to win a woman's heart; for women, it was marriage. She said a woman needs confidence and courage to accept a much younger man because she knows her partner will have more choices than her in the future.

In the matchmaking market, age is still important.

Matchmaker Wang Lifen told CGTN that older women tend to be better off financially than their younger partners. "Typically, women in this kind of relationship are economically independent, owning at least a house and a car," Wang said.

Since retiring, the 56-year-old has been organizing free matchmaking events in Beijing and provincial cities over the past six years. Over 150 young couples have gotten hitched through her services.

(Wang Weiwei, Cheng Xiaomo and Li Jie are pseudonyms.)