Chelsea 4-3 Man Utd: A Premier League thriller that nobody knows how to defend

It's quite an endeavor to recollect a Premier League showdown between Chelsea and Manchester United that held such low stakes. These two football giants, once formidable and dominant, now find themselves in a state of decline, mere remnants of their former glory, with little hope of challenging for the league title.  

However, on a night where chaos reigned supreme, both teams unabashedly exhibited their defensive vulnerabilities and an addiction to late-game theatrics. Yet, amidst it all, it was the neutral fans who had the last laugh, finding solace and respite in the sheer pleasure of the seven-goal thriller after a demanding day of toil.

Chelsea, in their recent defensive struggles, seemed determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Despite initially enjoying a comfortable two-goal lead courtesy of Conor Gallagher and Cole Palmer, their advantage quickly evaporated before halftime. Alejandro Garnacho capitalized on Moises Caicedo's inexplicable error, narrowing the deficit, while Bruno Fernandes swiftly equalized on a counterattack. 

Chelsea's naivety and lack of discipline were on full display, leading to moments of utter chaos. Then, with 67 minutes on the clock, a careless pass from Benoit Badiashile allowed Antony to deliver a sublime cross, resulting in Garnacho heading home to put Chelsea 3-2 behind. United seemed poised for a win, but like their opponents, they too displayed a frustrating tendency to defend comically and squander a lead.

As the officials signaled for eight minutes of stoppage time, there was a palpable sense that more drama was about to unfold, and indeed it did. The initial composure faded, the team's shape dissolved, and Noni Madueke was granted one final opportunity to take on Diogo Dalot on the right flank. In a moment of chaos, Madueke was hauled down, and the referee's whistle blew, shifting the mood in an instant.

With unwavering nerve, Palmer stepped up and calmly converted his second penalty of the evening, restoring parity at 3-3. United would have to settle for just a point. But the theatrics were far from over. There was still time for both teams to press forward, for Chelsea to launch swift counterattacks, and for fans to witness the seemingly impossible transform into reality.

And in the 100th minute and 39th second, the decisive moment arrived. United were caught off guard by a quick corner from Enzo Fernandez, who played it short to Palmer. Inevitably, the Chelsea talisman unleashed a strike that found its way into the net, aided by a deflection off Scott McTominay. The hat-trick was complete, the victory secured, and the extraordinary clash came to a close, leaving everyone in awe of the sheer madness that had unfolded.

It's a disconcerting trend for United to be entangled in their fifth 4-3 result this season. The manner in which they have succumbed to rapid-fire goals is truly cause for alarm. Whether it be conceding two goals in just four minutes against Bayern Munich, FC Copenhagen, Wolvers, Liverpool or Chelsea, these collapses beg the question of whether they possess the necessary mental fortitude to reclaim their former glory.

Indeed, the blockbuster was undeniably exhilarating and remarkably open, almost reminiscent of the fast-paced nature of basketball or even tennis, as aptly described by United manager Erik ten Hag in his post-match comments. However, rather than being a compliment, this comparison only accentuated the vast gulf that separates United from their once lofty positions of supremacy.