In Chinese culture, family and social expectations play a significant role. Many parents feel pressure to ensure their children get married and start a family.

The dating landscape has evolved considerably over time. What once involved handwritten love letters has shifted towards tech-driven interactions, from dating apps to social media. In China, traditional matchmaking – often orchestrated by parents seeking suitable partners for their children – remains a longstanding cultural practice. A popular way of doing so has been through "marriage markets," held in various parks throughout cities nationwide, which have become prominent avenues for arranging marital connections.

In Beijing, three major marriage markets operate in Zhongshan Park, Yuyuantan Park, and at the Temple of Heaven. I decided to visit Yuyuantan and Zhongshan parks and discovered that while the latter accommodates a larger crowd, the matchmaking methods across both locations are largely consistent.

Crowds gathered either to advertise or consider potential matches. Written profiles lined walkways, benches and even trees, with parents crafting detailed descriptions highlighting their children's qualifications, interests and expectations for prospective partners. Typically, these advertisements include information such as gender, age, weight, year of birth, salary, financial obligations, property ownership, and of course, contact details.

What was particularly striking to me was the vast variety of ages on offer, with some parents advertising their children as young as 20 years old, while others had posters for their older children, up to their mid-40s.

Throughout the parks, several parents proactively approached visitors to introduce potential matches. Even I wasn't exempt from being approached for a match or two. However, when I made inquiries into their experiences, many parents expressed reluctance to discuss details or be photographed, often withdrawing from any further engagement. One parent remarked on the sense of humiliation associated with participating in these events, while another described it as a "disgrace."

This raises the question: why do so many parents persist in engaging in marriage markets?

According to data from China's Ministry of Civil Affairs, the first quarter of 2025 saw 1.81 million couples register their marriages, a decline from the 1.96 million who registered their marriages over the same period last year, and an even sharper decline from the 2.14 million registrations in Q1 of 2023. Experts attribute this to a decreasing population of people in the suitable age range to get married, evolving attitudes towards relationships and the increasing financial demands of starting a family.

These factors may contribute to some parents' determination to play an active role in facilitating their children's marriages.

But this isn't the case for everyone. A young man who is taking matters into his own hands at these markets is Huang Junjie, one of the few people at the market promoting themselves for marriage. The 29-year-old, originally from Henan Province, said this was his first time trying out the marriage markets. He'd previously tried finding a partner by placing singles ads on Chinese social media platforms Douyin and Xiaohongshu, but for him, this kind of online dating felt too distant.

"I wanted to come meet people, see if there are women around my age, maybe make some friends," he said.

"Nowadays, matchmaking agencies or apps are either paid or inaccessible. Young people avoid paying for unreliable platforms. So, these spots emerged as alternatives."

Dressed in a black T-shirt and shorts, Huang braved the heat of summer as he proudly stood with his poster at his feet. He hopes to find a woman born between the years 1986 to 1996. 

"I can cook. I don't smoke or drink. I like mature and steady women," his poster read.

Huang is currently based in Beijing for work and is looking for a partner in the city. His previous relationship lasted six years, and he admits that dating has become increasingly difficult because of smaller social circles and due to long working hours, as well as a lack of qualifications, particularly for men, especially considering that women tend to "date up." He added that the requirements of many of the parents are also very steep.

Within Chinese culture, familial and societal expectations bear significant influence. Many parents feel compelled to ensure their children marry and establish families, reflecting broader cultural priorities surrounding matrimony and generational continuity.

"From a young person's perspective, their (parents') demands – education, age, and job requirements – are all steep," he said.

"They want better living conditions after marriage, financial stability matters. I don't own a place in Beijing, but I have one back home. But in Beijing, people really prioritize local property ownership."

After his first visit to the marriage market, he managed to make three connections but hadn't had any in-depth conversations with them yet at the time of our chat.

For him, compatibility, companionship and maturity are key values. He is open to dating older women and will even compromise by being part of a matrilocal marriage – a marriage custom where the husband lives within the wife's community, instead of the other way around.

"My view on marriage is companionship in daily life – compatibility matters most. I'm open to being a live-in son-in-law to ease family burdens," he said.

On the other hand, I chatted to a young woman, who agreed to only be identified by her last name Li. No stranger to the marriage markets, Li wasn't there to showcase herself but instead was exploring for possible matches she might find.

The 27-year-old, originally from Anhui Province, said that back in her hometown, most women her age are already married with two young children. Despite not receiving any pressure from her parents to get married, she is in search of a significant other – as long as he's not a "mama's boy."

"I feel like the men and women (sections) are separated. I just walked around the women's section – they're all very accomplished. Then I walked around the men's section and the men's standards are pretty high," she said.

"I feel like a lot of mama's boys can be found here. I saw it myself. Last time I saw this auntie, I added her on WeChat and her son is a top-tier mama's boy. It's so scary, she controls every aspect of her son's life."

Like Huang, Li said that these markets become popular ways of finding partners because of a shortage of other options – mainly due to long work hours. The nature of her job doesn't allow her to be on social media, so finding love there isn't an option either.

With age still on her side, according to Chinese standards, Li believes she still has time to explore before settling down but hopes to find a husband "sooner rather than later."

"Starting earlier gives you more time to filter. The longer it takes, say, if you're 30 or 32, your family will really pressure you and since you've already met someone, you just get married, but that can lead to mistakes," she said.

"If mistakes happen, I personally can't tolerate that. I might just end things immediately. Late marriage is better than … I don't want a forced marriage. Forced marriage is harder, especially with kids involved. Dating and marriage are different."

This article is part of a Love in the East series, a glimpse into China's unique world of love, dating and marriage.