"No one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. That’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like: Did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?” Barack Obama said this about Donald Trump in which year?

"Isn’t that what the confirmation process is in Washington? Weeding out the truly qualified until you get the truly available?” Which little-known comedian and future star said this in 1997?

"I know there’s some polls out there saying that this man has a 32-percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality.’ And reality has a well-known liberal bias.” Who said this about who?

"Next year at this time someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who SHE will be.” Who said this and when?

"In good days and bad, in times of great confidence and great controversy, I have actually shown up here for eight straight years. Looking back, that was probably a mistake." Who said this?

"Americans are in terrible shape. You can even tell how out of shape we are by the way we protest. We used to march. Now we occupy.” Which comedian said this, and when?

"I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things－things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world." Who said this about George W. Bush－while standing next to him?

Donald Trump won't attend Saturday's dinner, so who will represent the White House?