Taotao’s life: A gay leap forward

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By CGTN's Joey Catanzaro and Cao Xi

He Fenglan was shocked to discover that her only son, Taotao, was gay. In her own words, it was “like my heart was bleeding. After he told me, I couldn’t sleep for a week. I just kept crying.”

She urged Taotao to treat his partner, Duan Rongfeng, like a brother. In the future, she said, after they married separately, she would be very glad, like many mothers in China, to take care of both their children.

Likewise, Duan Rongfeng’s parents pushed their son to get married, even though they knew he was gay.

Duan made a deal. He’d go through with a fake marriage.

Taotao explains. “They forced him to get married. They chose to close their eyes to it.”

Eventually, Duan Rongfeng and Taotao settled in Shanghai. Duan worked for an ad agency. Although they were living together, they didn’t dare to think about getting married.

Then, two years ago, luck smiled on them. They were chosen, along with nine other gay couples, to go to America to get married. The wedding ceremony took place in West Hollywood.

They’ll never forget the words: “A contract of marriage is most solemn and is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities.”

Then, Duan Rongfeng was asked: “Do you take Tao to be your lawfully-wedded spouse?”

And Duan replied: “I do.”

Attitudes towards homosexuality and gay marriage are changing in China. /CGTN Photo

In China today, opinions about homosexuality and gay marriage remain mixed. Like other gay couples, Taotao and Duan Rongfeng are often subjected to verbal abuse, especially online.

But attitudes are changing.

As one elderly lady puts it: “So if you have this kind of condition, it’s something you’re born with. You can’t control it.”

And one mother has a particularly interesting take on the subject: “I think it’s great, having two sons. Easier to talk to than a daughter-in-law.”

Rediscovering China is a 30-minute feature programme offering in-depth reports on the major issues facing China today. It airs on Sunday at 10.30 a.m. BJT (02.30 GMT), with a rebroadcast at 11.30 p.m. (15.30 GMT), as well as on Monday at 8.30 a.m. (00.30 GMT) and Friday at 1.30 p.m. (05.30 GMT).

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